Are you like that friend that only comes around when they want something? Like money?

“Friends help you move. Good friends help you move bodies.”

–Anonymous

On various networks I see blog posts or group postings from folks that want the rest of us to donate money, goods, or time; send referrals, check out their sales flyer, etc. I know for a fact these same people are not spending time reaching out, advising, connecting with others, etc. I know this because of the amount of quality time I myself spend on the same network. These folks do not connect with others, do not comment on others postings, do not join groups with something worthwhile to contribute. They fill out a profile, post an ad, and then walk away. (Until it’s time to post another ad.)

When they post a blog, it’s solely and simply to ask people to give to their cause, buy their latest sale product, or attend their seminar. When you go into their profile and check out their details, you’ll see just a handful of contributions, and each one is all about them.

I’ve got to be brutally honest about this one–it’s a HUGE turnoff. I’m less inclined to want to reach out to help. Why? Simple–where have YOU been all this time?

Where have YOU been when I’m spending good time connecting with folks, writing blogs, answering others’ questions, helping folks out? Doing other things? Too busy to check in? It’s fine if you are. But to ask me to stop what I’m doing and reach out to further your business instead of mine at that point–which is really what you are doing–it reminds me of the family member that never calls or writes–until they need money or a place to stay. Fair-weather friends. They are more than happy to tell you how they are doing, when they’ve interrupted your day with the phone call.

Are you guilty of this?
Think about how much time you spend soliciting vs. reaching out. The two actions require the same effort, the same tools, the same connections. Except one has very little payback, and the other provides a great ROI.

One discussion I’ve seen on various networks centers around the profile itself–”if you won’t take the time to tell me about yourself, why should I bother trying to get to know you?” Same principle applies here.

All it is is a solicitation
If you are going to groups to post a solicitation, be it for donations, the purchase of your items, etc. then that’s all it is. A solicitation. The only thing that makes it worse is if you post that type of thing where it blatantly doesn’t belong. Desperation or not, it’s uncalled for, and people will remember. Worse, when it’s the only thing you ‘contribute’, just how much of a priority do you think readers will make you? If you guessed zero, come get your prize.

I’m hoping to educate, not scold you
This isn’t meant to rant and rave at those of us who realize we’re guilty of this (non)behavior. I’m hoping to educate you, if you fall into this category, as to what you are missing out on by not participating. In order to be part of the pool party, you gotta jump in the pool. Not sure how to do that? One network I’m involved with, for example, has 8-9 Trustees on the Trustees page (me included) that are happy to help get you started, advise you on if you might be taking a misstep, and overall making sure your experience here is a good one. Capitalize on that.

The value of your network is only as high as your contributions to it
Think about it. It’s a direct correlation. If you never come around except when you want something, your return will be dismal at best. The old adage holds true in social networking, just like everywhere else: if you want a smile, give a smile. If you want interaction, interact. If you want sales, offer to buy. If you want answers, answer others. When you spend good, quality time on your network, be it Facebook, LinkedIn, wherever, and stay visible with advice, questions, answers, comments, and connections, then you won’t have to bend over backwards trying to force passersby to help you in your time of need. Your connections will help do that for you.